How relational trauma therapy can help you heal
Do you feel like past relationships—whether with family, friends, or romantic partners—still have a grip on your present life? You’re not alone. Relational trauma, caused
Healing Relational Trauma with EFIT: A Path to Connection and Self-Compassion
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Relational trauma can leave deep marks on how we relate to ourselves and others. Whether stemming from childhood relationships or experiences in adult connections—like betrayals, neglect, or emotional unavailability—this kind of trauma can impact our ability to trust, connect, and feel secure.
If you find yourself stuck in patterns of fear, avoidance, or conflict in your relationships, it’s not because you’re “broken” or incapable of change. These patterns are often survival strategies shaped by past experiences, and they can be understood, softened, and healed.
One powerful approach to this healing process is Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy (EFIT).
What is Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy (EFIT)?
EFIT is a humanistic, experiential approach to therapy rooted in attachment science. While attachment theory is often discussed in the context of romantic relationships or parent-child dynamics, EFIT brings this understanding to the individual. It explores how your attachment needs—for security, connection, and care—have been shaped and sometimes wounded in relationships throughout your life.
Rather than pathologizing behaviors or thoughts, EFIT helps you tune into the emotional undercurrents that drive your patterns. By identifying and processing these emotions, you can begin to:
- Understand the origins of your relational wounds.
- Reshape your emotional responses to foster safety and trust.
- Reclaim a sense of security and connection within yourself and with others.
How Relational Trauma Shapes Us
Relational trauma occurs when relationships that were meant to offer safety, love, and support instead caused hurt or emotional distress. This can happen in many ways:
- Growing up in environments where your emotions were ignored, criticized, or shamed.
- Experiencing betrayal, abandonment, or rejection in intimate relationships.
- Being conditioned to suppress your needs to “keep the peace” or avoid conflict.
Over time, these experiences can lead to feelings of unworthiness, difficulty trusting others, or even a deep fear of vulnerability. You might notice patterns like:
Struggling to set boundaries.
Over-functioning in relationships to “earn” love or validation.
Pushing people away to protect yourself from further hurt.
These patterns may feel automatic or inescapable, but EFIT offers a path to shift them.
How EFIT Supports Healing from Relational Trauma
In EFIT, we work together to slow down and tune into what’s happening beneath the surface. This includes noticing and understanding the emotions that have been ignored, dismissed, or too overwhelming to process. Through this exploration, you’ll:
- Develop Emotional Awareness: Learn to recognize and name your emotions, even the more vulnerable ones.
- Identify Unmet Needs: Explore the attachment needs that may have been disregarded or misunderstood—like the need to feel seen, supported, or safe.
- Create New Patterns: As you connect with your emotions in a safe, supportive space, you’ll begin to respond to yourself with greater compassion and understanding. This shift allows you to relate differently to others—creating healthier, more authentic connections.
This process doesn’t just address symptoms—it gets to the root of relational patterns. Healing happens not by “fixing” yourself, but by learning to meet your emotional needs with kindness and care.
Why EFIT Might Be Right for You
If you’ve been carrying relational wounds, EFIT can help you navigate your inner emotional world with greater clarity, compassion, and confidence. It’s particularly powerful for those who:
- Feel stuck in cycles of shame, self-criticism, or emotional numbness.
- Want to explore why certain patterns show up in their relationships.
- Long to feel more secure in themselves and with others.
In this space, you’re not alone. Together, we’ll explore and gently untangle the pain of relational trauma so that you can move toward a life of greater connection, authenticity, and ease.
Ready to Begin Your Journey Toward Healing?
If this resonates with you, I invite you to take the first step. As a trauma-informed therapist, I integrate Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy with compassionate, relational support tailored to your unique needs.
You don’t have to carry the weight of relational trauma alone. Healing is possible, and I’m here to walk alongside you.
Book a session today and begin reconnecting with yourself and others in a way that feels safe, empowering, and authentic.
Warmly,
Patrizia
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Patrizia Jones
Integrative Counselling Therapist
Welcome! I support adults who have experienced Relational Trauma reclaim their sense of self and emotional wellbeing. I am an Integrative Counselling Therapist (MBACP) and a Registered Nurse with over 17 years experience.
Patrizia Jones
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