Integrative Counselling Therapy
for Relational Trauma
Relational trauma, often rooted in early life experiences, can have profound and lasting impacts on an individual’s self-esteem. When trust is broken or emotional needs are unmet in significant relationships—whether with parents, partners, or close friends—it can deeply undermine one’s sense of self-worth. The repeated message that one is unworthy of love, care, or respect can become internalized, leading to persistent feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. This blog explores the connection between relational trauma and its detrimental effects on self-esteem, shedding light on how these wounds shape our view of ourselves and our place in the world.
1. Reconnect with what brings you joy. When we’ve experienced relational trauma, it’s common to lose touch with the things that once brought us happiness or comfort. Gently exploring activities you enjoy can help reignite those moments of joy and well-being. These activities can also remind you of times when you felt capable, connected, or at ease—feelings that are important in rebuilding a sense of self. Take it at your own pace, and remember, there’s no right or wrong way to engage in what you love.
2. Nurture your strengths. Trauma can sometimes leave us feeling disconnected from our abilities or undervaluing what we’re good at. Focusing on your strengths—whether it’s a skill, a quality, or a passion—can be a powerful way to rebuild confidence and self-trust. Start with small, manageable steps that feel achievable. The more you recognize and nurture your strengths, the more you can expand your sense of self-worth and inner resilience.
3. Choose supportive connections. Relational trauma often leaves scars that make it hard to trust others, but surrounding yourself with positive, affirming people can be healing. Notice how you feel in the presence of others—do you feel seen, safe, and respected? Spending time with those who uplift you can help counteract the effects of past negative relationships and encourage your growth. It’s okay to take your time finding or nurturing these connections; trust grows at your own pace.
4. Define your worth on your terms. Relational trauma can distort how we view ourselves, often tying our worth to the opinions or actions of others. Reclaiming your self-worth starts with recognizing that someone else’s negativity often says more about them than it does about you. What truly matters is how you see and value yourself. Reflect on what’s meaningful to you, what you cherish about yourself, and the qualities that make you unique. When you ground your sense of self in your own truth, you take an important step toward healing and self-empowerment.
5. Trust in your own strength. Healing from relational trauma can make it challenging to believe in your ability to reach your goals, especially when self-doubt creeps in. But acknowledging your inner resilience—no matter how small the steps—can help you reconnect with your power. Believe in your capacity to grow and move forward, even when progress feels slow. Trust that with each step, you’re building the strength and clarity you need to create meaningful change. Healing is a process, and you are worthy of giving yourself the space and time to grow at your own pace.
6. Focus on what you want to invite into your life. It can be difficult to stay focused on what you desire, especially when relational trauma has shaped your sense of what’s possible. But remember, energy flows where attention goes. By gently redirecting your thoughts to what you want to create, you begin to shift the energy in your life. It’s okay if this takes time—be patient with yourself as you build this new way of thinking. Trust that every positive thought and intention you nurture brings you closer to the life you deserve.
7. Speak kind, affirming words to yourself. The way we speak to ourselves matters, especially when past trauma has led to negative self-talk. Instead of “I wish I could be happy,” try saying “I am worthy of joy and peace.” Repeat it gently, without pressure, and allow those words to soften your heart. Over time, this practice helps shift your mindset, making it easier to embrace self-compassion and start seeing yourself as capable of the very things you desire.
Taking these small, affirming steps each day can help you slowly rebuild your self-worth and inner foundation. Your journey of healing and growth is yours to define—take it one step at a time, knowing you’re creating a stronger, more empowered version of yourself.
“Every woman that finally figured out her worth, has picked up her suitcases of pride and boarded a flight to freedom, which landed in the valley of change.”
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Welcome! I support adults who have experienced Relational Trauma reclaim their sense of self and emotional wellbeing. I am an Integrative Counselling Therapist (MBACP) and a Registered Nurse with over 17 years experience.